Hey there! Time to converse again.
Well here it is. The birth of a blog. It has been an interesting learning experience. I definitely felt the stretching of boundaries and formation of gray matter convolutions during the learning process. Not that it’s finished. I see it as a work in progress. Let me know what you think of the venue. There is a section for comments at the bottom of the blog page.
So, onward to our next conversation.
Conversation 5:
I was told when I was growing up, “You have to work hard or you won’t get anywhere… money doesn’t grow on trees… nobody’s going to give you a handout… you can’t trust others… if you want it done right, do it yourself…people are out for themselves and they never change”. And yet after I had embraced these ideas, worked hard and gained some of the things I wanted, my mother would give them away and say things like, you have more than they do so you should give it to them… you didn’t really need that so I gave it away… you can always get another they don’t have the same opportunities you have. Hmmm, it seemed my mother ran on double standards.
I also found, in my young life, that almost all adults lied (except for my grandfather) and conveniently didn’t remember the contradictory things they said. It made no sense to me. I was young, not obtuse.
Well, it was all very confusing and pretty awful. It seemed to me that people on the whole were simply not nice. The opinion I ended up with was, life sucked and you had to have a thick skin and the upper hand to stay ahead, be sure you didn’t trust anyone (except those very few who had been through the crucible with you), and what you worked hard to get make sure no one took away.
Yeah, not the best perspective to start life with. But thank goodness it didn’t stay that way. I, like many others, decided to break the chain of perpetuating negativity. I changed. Once I learned that we are creators for the Source, it freed me from those old beliefs. That and remembering my past lives. It does one a world of good to see oneself as the nasty oppressor taking advantage of the weak, or an unfeeling landlord, or a sniveling liar… yikes! Was that really me? I was suddenly much more tolerant of others negative behavior understanding what had driven me in past lives to be the same way.
So, yes, I now see that people can and do change, and… the more you give away the more you make room to receive, and… be trusting, it opens up opportunities, and… life is incredibly wonderful, and… as long as you are mindful of your creative energy life is anything you create it to be.
What a difference in the two lives… how I started out and now (and I am quite sure, and certainly hope, different now than I will be in the future). So what got me from there to here? As in everyone’s life, there were countless incidents and teaches that drove me to the person I am now. Many of them, I am sure, I don’t remember. But here are a few of the ones I do remember…
My mother – A very big influence in my life since it was just the two of us most of the time. On one had, she is a driven and determined individual. On the other, she has an extreme victim mentality and feels that everywhere she turns are insurmountable obstacles that prevent her from attaining anything in life. She is driven by revenge. She gave me examples of what was necessary to succeed which made me strong and also examples of what I didn’t want to be like which made me strive to be different.
My grandfather – I only knew him between the ages of 6 and 10. When he died I felt I had lost my only friend and refuge. He was a teacher and he instilled in me a love of science and research. He taught me that things are not always as they seem and that it was necessary to question currently accepted theories. We worked in gardens, on carpentry and among bee hives together. I found out later that my mother was an abused child, I never knew which grandparent it was that abused her, but if it was her father, he was definitely a different person with me.
A scientific and spiritual organization, The Rosicrucians – My mother was a great self educator and joined this organization when I was 9 or 10. I was allowed to study along with her. It opened my eyes to the spiritual laws of the universe and gave me the first inklings of the creative power we have in conjunction with the Source (called the Cosmos by the Rosicrucians). What I learned with this organization is what has guided my spiritual transformation.
Rick – My husband and soul mate for life (and a lot of other lives, too). Rick is a person who likes to help others, he genuinely likes other people and enjoys interacting with them. This was new to me. I mean, I had a couple of close friends, but I was not a person who liked or sought out others to spend time with. In general, I preferred my own company. Rick also had a wonderful sense of play… something I had forgotten existed. Living and growing with Rick has taught me to love and trust others. And to have fun… thank goodness.
Because I didn’t like my current situation, I took chances – As a teen, I tended to jump at opportunities to achieve what I wanted (I didn’t like what I had so why not try something else…some chances taken turned out great, some didn’t… I didn’t do the unfun ones again). Funny how as the older I got and the more I accumulated the fewer chances I took. I am endeavoring to regain that fearless leaping attitude… perhaps tempered with checking things out a little first.
So along my transforming path with the influence of these incidents and teachers, I learned to have fun, smell the flowers (literally… I started sniffing flowers wherever I went), ferret out fears and whittle away at negative thought patters with the help of, “You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought”, and other various well know philosophers, and books of faith. Presently I am most influenced by the works of Wayne Dyer.
Many people I meet complain that the world is getting worse and worse. But I don’t see that. I see something different. I see the limitations they put on themselves and the lives they create. I see how the life I create for myself is directly tied to my own attitude, the care I take of myself, and the connection I have with the Source.
For me the world is filled with opportunity and optimistic events. I think it is wonderful to see a more positive turn in things like TV in a rash of new shows like; The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, Dancing with the Stars, Phineus and Ferb, and in the revival of musicals. I appreciate and expect small positive acts like when I am in traffic people let me in, I see people stop to make sure someone on the side of the road is okay, people help out others in the grocery line who are short of change, parking spaces open up where I would like them to be, and when I smile people smile back. I find it very interesting that science is realizing it is not a separate entity from the Source (physical laws really reflect spiritual laws), that information on anything is available at our fingertips, and that opportunity is being created with lighting speed. It seems to me, if you look for the good you will receive it.
There have never been “good old days” for me. Even now when we are having trouble with our mortgage and the bills, the house we are working to keep is much nicer and in better shape than the one we had before, our health is better than it was, and we now have friends who help us (instead of the other way around – which I didn’t mind – I liked having the ability to help). In general, it has Always gotten better! And I intend to keep it that way.
So where do I go from here? Onward and upward of course.
What I suspect I will find is that even the upward spiral is an illusion, and that there really is no distance or time between now and my desires. Like having a genie in a bottle, ask and you shall receive… instantly.
I love you all,
Donna
Tags: Conversation 5, Life changes, The teachers we have
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