Conversation 14: 

A few days ago, I made the decision to expend the effort to heal my hernia instead of caving to the expectation of having surgery.  I have had this hernia since August of 2008.  Usually, once I incur an injury, I jump on it with all four feet and heal it, usually in weeks.  It hasn’t mattered what the injury has been.  I have had ligaments separated from bone in ankles and knees, I have had back injuries so sever I could not move, neck injuries so bad I could not turn my head.  A number of times I was informed by my chiropractors that it looked like I would have to have surgery.  Once, one chiropractor who had watched in wonder as over the years I had healed myself told me a particular back injury I was suffering with was so severe that even I couldn’t fix it.  I asked how long he would give me before he decided to schedule the surgery.  He said I had to make significant improvement in 2 weeks or he’d recommend surgery.  Two weeks later he was scratching his head in wonder as he marveled over the amount of healing that had taken place.  I never doubted I could heal myself.  Once I knew what had to be done and my chiropractor gave me a time limit of how long he would wait, I would fulfill the expectation.  There was no worry, I just fulfilled my expectations.  That and I enjoyed proving my chiropractor wrong. 

Now why has it taken so long to “decide” to heal my hernia?  Why didn’t I jump on it like the other incidents?  First off, I wasn’t aware that it was there.  I knew that since I had taken a bad tumble, my stomach had not felt right.  I felt queasy and just not right in my abdominal region.  Since I couldn’t identify anything in particular, I forgot about it.  That and I simply didn’t have time to worry about it.  My job was very challenging at that time and I was working on rehabilitating my ankle which was severely injured in my tumble.  A lot of time and worry was already being expended.  Then, while working over the Christmas/New Year holiday (2008/2009), I became aware of a bulge above my belly button.  What the heck was that?  I don’t have time to deal with this!  I did some research and came up with either a soft tumor or a hernia.  It took me a few more weeks to definitely identify it as a hernia.  All the research I did said that hernias can’t heal by themselves.  I found this discouraging.  And this should have been my first clue that something was wrong with my attitude. 

In the past I never let a doctor’s attitude about the body and healing dictate my own beliefs.  But, I was filled to the top with worry and over extended time commitments.  I mean there was our financial issue, the very real possibility of losing our home, my work situation, Dama’s educational demands, my not so perfect health, and the family challenges we were undergoing while compensating for Rick’s absence while he worked a second job on nights and weekends.  There simply was no more time or energy left for additional worry.  This should have been clue number two that my attitude was in dire need of adjustment.  But I ignored the clues… and developed a rash.

This particular attitude, namely that I had no time for anything and there was so much wrong in my life that I simply had no room for anything else persisted for quite some time.  Finally I caught myself saying things like, “We can’t do that because there is no time”, “I have no time to help you with that”, and “I’d love to work on healing myself but I can’t, not with everything else that has to be done.”  I also found myself saying things like, “I don’t have time to worry about that,”, “Well, that’s one less thing to worry about”, and “I have enough to worry about, I can’t think about that too.” 

Not an attractive reality to create.  And, not statements I truly believe in anyway.  And all leading to the same thing, a “poor me” attitude and victim mentality.  It was a choice.  I was choosing to be a victim of my perceived circumstances instead of perceiving the circumstances I wanted and creating them.  No wonder I didn’t heal myself. 

And as always, a bad habit formed takes the same amount of energy (effort) to reverse as it did to put it in place.  Sigh.  Off and on for months I would put a little work into healing the hernia.  I would make a good start and I could tell it was getting better and then I would allow the most currently pervasive worry to take over all my energy again.  And of course what you focus on you create more of… in this case, worry.  So I forgot about it again.  And my rash increased to cover half my body.  Lovely.

 My perception of reality persisted.  I would get over one worrisome issue and immediately replace it with the next hurdle on which to worry.  Hurry up… worry… hurry up… worry.  Scratch my itchy rash.  Sigh.

 Then a number of weeks ago, we received word that our insurance options would be changing.  This didn’t worry me because I never used the insurance anyway.  There was nothing covered that I use.  There were a few people who had to use the insurance for hospital stays and surgeries.  This new buy up option was being offered to us because of the expense incurred by those people.  We were being offered a buy up option that covered hospital stays and surgeries at 100% after deductible instead of the current 50%. 

 After the meeting, we needed to decide whether to have the buy up or not.  We took the buy up because I was afraid I was not going to be able to heal my hernia and if I had to have surgery, we were afraid we wouldn’t be able to afford it unless we had the buy up.  So, because of two fears, we purchased additional insurance for $84.00 a month.  Interestingly enough, taking and brooding about this action prompted me to make the decision to heal myself. 

 This time, when I researched hernias, I typed in “healing hernias without surgery” instead of “hernia symptoms” or “hernia issues” and found a number of people who had already healed their hernias.  Quite remarkable what a difference in attitude makes.  So, with the first steps taken, there is nothing left but the doing.  I am sure the monthly paycheck deduction will keep me motivated. 

 There are so many things we allow to stand in our way and prevent us from creating the reality we desire.  Worry is definitely one of them.  Worry is an insidious visitor, one that should not be welcome in one’s life.

 Instead of creating a worrisome existence (that gives one, or at least me, a rash), try fostering a more positive attitude, where doing doesn’t feel so hard.  Notice I said more positive attitude and doing, because inaction builds nothing, worry laden or not.

I love you all,

 Donna

The third is coming soon (hopefully that is not a liar, liar, pants on fire statement).

Conversation 13:

While driving home today I happened to hear on the radio the DJ advertise their station as having the longest 55 minute music hour. I had to think about that. Longest 55 minute music hour. Hmm. The last I checked, an hour was 60 minutes long. I know, I know. Some radio stations have 45 minute long music hours and some of them seem to have 12 minute music segments interspaced by 10 minute long commercial segments.

Yep, you guessed it. I will be pondering Time this conversation.

It seems as if extra time is a hot commodity these days (along with extra cash). Why is that? I was told while growing up that when you are young you have all the time in the world. Adults had it hard because they had responsibilities; like a job, and bills, and you know… Responsibilities!

I do remember the days being longer and lazier when I was growing up. And I do remember thinking that time seemed to be going faster later on. But I distinctly remember my Dad having time to mow the lawn, my mother having time to clean the house, and us all having time to take vacations, and go to the beach, and go hiking, and biking, and everyone settling down at the end of the day and popping popcorn and watching TV. So where is that time now?

Well… guess what?

Someone has proven that the universe is speeding up. Physicists say that because of this, linear time is actually speeding up also. Ack! So not only does it feel like time is going faster and faster with each passing year, it actually is going faster and faster.

What do we do with this little tidbit of information? When no one (or at least pretty much everyone I know) has enough time in a day as it is. And where does it end? Will the days continue to get shorter and shorter until they have no meaning? Yikes!

Okay, everyone take a deep breath. There must be a loop hole. What about that saying, “There is more than one way to skin a cat” (yucky saying). What is time anyway? It is something we perceive. And if it is something we perceive, then it is like everything else we perceive in our created reality. So since time is a perception that means we can chose how we perceive it (oh this is sounding very esoteric).

Okay, easier said than done. It’s one thing to believe that time is malleable, but quite another knowing how to mold it. Well since we are talking about perception and changing time through perception, we need to remember that perception is manipulated by belief.

So what kind of belief statement can we come up with to create a new reality for time? Well, we certainly don’t want less time, so let’s not say…

• I never have enough time to do __________. Or
• I would do ____________ but I always run out of time. Or
• It’s impossible for me to ________ the way I want to because I always run out of time. Or… you get the idea.

What do we replace these unattractive reality creating statements with to create a more attractive time friendly reality? Well, let’s see…

• I have enough time to do __________. And
• I will do ____________ because I always have more time. And
• It’s possible for me to ________ the way I want to because I always have enough time. And again… you get the idea.

Did you notice what I did there? I changed a small part of the creating statement to make a huge difference in the potential outcome of reality creating. This is one of those skills that get better and easier with practice. At first all you can think of is… “Yikes, I never have enough time… Arrrggg!” So maybe first you can try toning it down to… “It seems as if I never have enough time.” And then work towards, “It may seem like I never have enough time, but that’s not really true.” And, “So if that’s not true what is true?” And that would end up being, “I always have enough time.”

It might seem easier to continue wallowing in one’s unproductive realty creating statements, but if you are tired of the reality you are currently in, something has to change for that reality to change. Why not at least start with the creative statement?

Thoughts have power, statements about your beliefs have power. To me it seems a small sacrifice to monitor and then change your belief statements to reflect the reality you want to create.

I have enough time to do everything I want… I have enough time to do everything I want… No really! It doesn’t matter if radio stations and the universe are shortening our hours. I have enough time…

I love you all,

Donna

Conversation 12:

Like a cup of hot coffee, a shot of high vibrational (spiritual) conversation can get your day going on a great note. Just a few minutes of dialogue can change your perspective for the better, help you see someone else’s perspective, or lighten your mental load.

At one time, people sat on their front porches and spoke to those that passed by. It was common to have a conversation with a cashier, a waitress, or a receptionist. We knew the people in our neighborhood because we noticed them, were courteous to them, and asked them how their day was going. We assisted those in our communities who were in need of help. It wasn’t called volunteering, it was just helping out someone you knew. We felt safe knowing the people around us.

So if it was so great, why has positive interaction disappeared? When did we become so distracted with the 10,000 things (a reference to the Buddhist belief that life can distract away from spirituality with 10,000 things) that respect, courtesy (civility), and graciousness have given way to disregard, rudeness, and unkindness?

It is a choice after all. And I suppose if we realize that everyone has a choice, we must consider why those choices are being made. Why is someone rude to you? Why does someone talk behind another’s back in a disrespectful manner? Why do people choose an “in it for themselves” attitude?

We could say it’s their upbringing (or lack of it). We could say it is because of their fears. We could say they are selfish.

But instead of looking at their means of interaction, what if we looked at it in a different way? What if we see these people as mirrors, reflecting something to us? If we don’t like their behavior, why don’t we like it? Is there perhaps something there we need to see? Maybe they are reminding us of behavior we do not wish to display ourselves. Perhaps this behavior has been creeping into our own interactions. Perhaps all these people are making a sacrifice of their individual lives in order to be reminders to us.

Geez, that’s quite a sacrifice by the Source on our behalf. An almost unbelievable sacrifice. But why should it be unbelievable? After all, the Source is infinite. The Source loves each and every one of its creations unconditionally. Why wouldn’t we receive any help we might need to help us gain higher vibrations? Sometimes consequences for our actions are not enough. Sometimes we have to be the observer of negative behavior being meted out by someone to another.

Who hasn’t observed something like a little scruffy yip yip barking and running in circles? Usually we think, “Holy hey hoo, look how wound up and frantic that yip yip is. It’s completely freaked out and barking at the top of its little yip yip lungs. And over nothing at that.” And what if after observing that we allow it to work as a reminder…So you remember the other morning when you were hopping mad (just like the yip yip), slapping your forehead and raking your fingers through your hair (your hair looking suspiciously like and probably in the same state as the yip yip’s) and you were screeching at your offspring. And you probably don’t even remember over what.

Have you ever been with a friend and heard them say something like, “I just don’t understand people who overreact like that (or who treat their spouses with disrespect, or who don’t take care of themselves or whatever else people can find objectionable)” and you stare at them in amazement because you have seen them act just in the way they are being so derisive about. They were receiving a reminder, but you were the only one who noticed it.

It may be hard to notice these reminders at first (there being those pesky 10,000 things and all), but if we can train ourselves to recognize these reminders we will find it much easier to make those vibrational leaps we are seeking.

So I came up with some reminders for myself (because why wait for the universe)…

In my quest to reach a goal please help me to be…

• Gracious not rude
• Thoughtful not unthinking
• Motivated not obsessed
• Respectful not discourteous
• Determined not single minded
• Remember that there may be 10,000 things, but to accomplish anything you have to pick one of them to concentrate on at a time
• And… most importantly… Please let me remember that when I reach my goal, I need to immediately reach out and help others do the same

It all comes down to basic things…

perception creates reality (so be careful what you focus on)

and

do or do not, there is no try

Thanks go to Ron, the handyman and Yoda, the wise galactic sage both of whom know the value of good conversation.

I love you all,

Donna

This conversation topic is to all the special people. Perception… expectations… and reception.

Conversation 11:

When I was growing up I felt that I was nothing special. I decided to believe that way because how could I be someone special if birthdays were forgotten, I was made fun of and ridiculed, and I was lied to on a regular basis. How could someone whose life was like that be anything special? Of course that type of life finally became intolerable to me. I made my escape when I was 17. But, I took with me the inner niggling belief that no matter what, I was nothing special.

I would wager (if I were a betting person), that most of us one way or another came to believe that we were nothing special. It seems to be a rampant problem. A problem that has contributed to things we call the norm, status quo, or just the way things are. It’s a ready made excuse that stamps out originality and smothers success. If someone reaches out, beyond their normal limits, people ask what is going on and they say, “What? Do you think you’re special?” After so much of this the results are predictable. Most people these days want to be the same as everyone else, and they want you to be the same too. Otherwise, if you “make it”, then they feel pressured to do the same. They say things like, “Things are tough all over… how can anyone make it”, “Everyone’s in the same boat”, We’re all too busy, you can’t fit in anything else”, “Working for someone else sucks, but what can you do, you have to make a living”, “I’m just an average Joe… what am I supposed to do?”, “People like us never get anywhere”, and “Business is down all over, no one can make it”.

Most people feel justified in their equally bad circumstances because, come on, it’s happening to everyone. It’s a version of something called the Law of the Lid, a self imposed limitation. A limitation that makes status quo acceptable. Expectations are lowered to make bad circumstances more palatable. The more individuals who buy into the lowered expectation, the more acceptable the ‘lid” becomes. Soon it is accepted as the norm.

But, you know what? Contrary to popular belief, it’s not happening to everyone. There are more millionaires in America every year (and I’m not talking about from the lottery here). Their appearances are on an exponential curve. Where is their money coming from? Some say that’s why no one else has money, because they have it all. I don’t believe that.

And then there are all the entrepreneurs under twenty. There are quite a number of them. They are not only successful, they are abundantly successful, as in millions of dollars worth. They didn’t give credence to the limiting beliefs of others. Age, lack of funds, lack of mobility, lack of a resume… none of this deterred them. How is it they succeeded with all the odds against them (perceived odds that is)?

The universe is unendingly abundant and ever expanding. Unendingly… you know… infinite! And expanding with new energy every moment. The only difference in a millionaire’s situation and a non-millionaire’s situation is perception, expectation and reception. The perception of your circumstances, the expectation of the outcome and the reception (ability to receive) of what the universe has for you… abundance.

Bill Gates was a college drop out. Michael Dell, Walt Disney, Henry Ford, and Milton Hershey were also school dropouts. Drop outs are billed as worthless individuals with no hope of a successful future. They didn’t buy into that perception.

So how did they do it, the millionaires, the young entrepreneurs, and the icons mentioned above? How did they combat the law of the lid and access all that abundance? How did they overcome average thoughts and average success? That’s a lot of questions. Let’s start with how these people are alike. What do all these people have in common? Well first off, they didn’t have years of learning how to work for someone else. Since they didn’t have all that wonderful knowledge, there was no plan laid out for them to follow. So, they figured out ways to make themselves successful. They also had a vision of what they wanted. A vision so strong it drove them to create it. They also didn’t let anyone tell them that their vision couldn’t happen. Their belief in their vision was enough for them, they didn’t need assurances or permission from others. They also didn’t fall down and stay down. They just got back up and kept on creating until they got the result they wanted. They were choosing their own reality by rejecting other’s perceptions of it (Adam from Mythbusters wears a T shirt that states, “I reject your reality and substitute my own”… I love that shirt). They decided to reject being average and seek the benefits of choosing to be unequal. Unequal. That doesn’t mean a snooty attitude of being better than everyone else. Everyone is special, it’s just that some of us recognize that and some of us deny that. I don’t want to deny it. I choose to be un-equal. I refuse to put up with what everyone else has decided to accept as “the way things are”.

Okay, so we are unequal. What do we do with our new found un-equalness?

We change our perception. Don’t accept the average perception that things are bad all over and are getting worse. Understand that it is our very perception that moves the energy in the universe. When we perceive a need or want or intent in a creative, positive way (I would really like to create more time to do _________), we move the energy in a high vibrational way. When we perceive a need or want or intent in an unimaginative, status quo maintaining way (I never have time to do _________), we move energy in a low vibrational way. We are outputting the same amount of energy, but getting a very different result. So be different, don’t accept or assume the beliefs of others, be unequal in how you perceive the universe.

Next, we change our expectations. Don’t have average expectations just to be the same (equal and therefore accepted) as others around you. Instead have un-average or unequal expectations. If you reach for the stars you will certainly at least get out of the solar system. Reach for Pluto and you might reach Jupiter. I don’t want to settle for a big gassy giant. I want a bright burning star.

Then, we change how we feel about receiving. In reality (reality, snicker), everyone is special. And that includes ourselves. There is no reason to feel you are only due average results of your intents. There is no reason you shouldn’t ask for more than what the average person is willing to wish for. If you are willing to settle for average success, you will only receive average success. You don’t make room for anything more. So be unequal… make room for what you want. Then know you are worthy of receiving it. That’s the way special people live life.

So, don’t be average, “Be excellent… and party on dudes.”

I love you all,

Donna

Onward to today’s topic, tolerance… or is it discipline… hmmm.

Conversation 10:

Where do we draw the line with the protection of others? Specifically, I am peaking on the teaching of tolerance as opposed to the enforcement of zero tolerance. Zero tolerance has been imposed as a permanent policy in the public schools. It was intended as a protective action, but I think (in other words… in my opinion) those that the policy was intended to protect are learning to not be self reliant, resolve their own issues and yes, be tolerant of others. I don’t advocate allowing others to bully someone else, but I think the situations where both were detained and forced to interact (given a team effort job that they had to accomplish in order to complete detention) taught more understanding and therefore tolerance for others.

I grew up seeing kids bullied (and being bullied myself), black against white, sportsters against geeks, rich against poor, status quo against different… The nuns handled all situations the same. The offending parties (pick any conflicting group above) are dinged in the head with chalk. “You and you come here NOW. I’ve had it with you interrupting my class (not doing your homework, fighting, or any other offence). I don’t care who started it. You will be…”(Catholic School options) writing sentences, whacking erasers, cleaning the cafeteria, picking up trash, washing windows, hoeing the garden, resealing the concrete, making pledge calls (collecting money for the school), mucking out old biology experiment jars, and whatever else the inventive nun minds could come up with. For the hard core offenders there was always a visit to the local jail and children community hours done in prison garb.

As most of you know, I work in a school I am disturbed, though, by this policy called Zero Tolerance (and the “No Child Left Behind”, and a number of other things so I guess I am in general simply disturbed by school policies). I understand that its intent was to protect, but I fear it is having a somewhat different effect in the long run.

When our beloved nuns used indiscriminate discipline (if you’re involved, you’re guilty, so you get punished), it tended to create an Us vs. Them environment, encouraged the involved parties to work things out on their own, and through that process one tended to become more tolerant of others and their actions.

But our government is very concerned with the safety of our students in the public school system (rightfully so in this technologically advanced, yet basically violent age). Teachers are not allowed to administer discipline as they have in the past to keep order and to discourage bullying. So the government stepped in and resolved the issue, so to speak with the conviction that the weaker must be protected at all costs.

That means that if one student is being sly about teasing another and the teased student retaliates physically and gets caught, the teased student pays and the one who is making life miserable for him does not. So, the teased boy ends up having a choice of suffering in silence or protecting himself and getting punished. I’ve also seen this one. There is a particular child that engenders jealousy among a few children who are friends. They make up a story about the offending individual threatening violence towards one of their own and all attest to having witnessed it. There is no recourse for the “offending individual” and the others get away scott free (who was Scott anyway?).

So what was learned by the parties in these examples? The actual guilty parties learned that if they plan ahead carefully, they can torture, get revenge upon, and generally have fun at the expense of others. The victims learned that if someone really wants to they can hurt them and get away with it. And they won’t be able to prove different. I don’t see tolerance being taught nor do I see the weak being protected. I see the sly, bored, and undisciplined having a new playground to play in. I see the unfortunate becoming fearful and resentful. At least when both parties were punished the guilty party got what they deserved and some positive behavior modification was taking place.

Of course, some of the weak are actually vindicated by the policy, the bullies caught and punished. And what did they learn? The weak learn that others will solve their problems for them and the bullies learn to resent, their resentment eventually turning to hate. For when we “save “ others, we take away their personal power, they quit learning how to help themselves, they become weaker, and eventually, they too become resentful. To me (again, in my opinion), the “Zero Tolerance Policy” creates more tolerance problems than it protects individuals.

It always seems when the government lays down blanket policies that the results are worse or at least no better than the original results. It seems when we foster protecting the weak instead of strengthening the weak we end up with them becoming weaker. Whether it’s in school, in the welfare system or in war.

How do we resolve this? Well personally, I think we should hire nuns in the school instead of policemen as an outside security force (and I’m not Catholic – or particularly religious). They are above government law so to speak and I believe their disciplinary actions would be tolerated (detention? Or no, we don’t do that anymore, you’ll be cleaning out the dumpsters today… here’s your mop… and it better be in good condition when you return it or you’ll be making a new mop at your next detention).

Hmmm. Making the students safer and easing the expense of janitorial (oh wait… not politically correct… that would be sanitary engineering) services. It could happen.

I love you all,

Donna

Today we are discussing death, a not so much favorite subject for many and therefore avoided. And yet to others a topic that holds morbid attention. None the less (what on earth does that really mean), something which effects us constantly throughout our lives.

Let’s converse on it…

Conversation 9:

Death. Why on earth did I say death is something that affects us constantly throughout our lives? I mean people we know die… every now and then. But certainly not all the time… thank the holy hey hoo.

But, in actuality, it does affect us constantly. Old is replaced by new whether it be the death of a loved one and the birth of a new baby, the death of your favorite car and the joy you feel when you find just the right new one, the death of all the leaves on a tree and their new spring replacements, or the death of a cell in your body which is immediately replaced by another new cell.

Still, even though we are surrounded by death on a continuous basis, it is the endings of relationships we take most for granted that hit us the hardest. Relationships with our loved ones, neighborhoods, co-workers, favorite foods (I am still mourning the loss of my favorite chocolate cake made by Van de Kamps), and organizations where we seek support and solace. These things die, their memory lingers and then, thankfully, the Cosmos replaces them with new things that catch our attention and call forth our energy (except for the Van de Kamps chocolate cake… sigh).

Recently my school (and subsequently myself), has been effected by a number of endings. A favored counselor and tutor died a lingering death after a heart attack. This person’s death struck many to their core and changed some of us irrevocably. In addition, a number of people have left the school due to endings that have happened in their own lives and in response to changes (another word for endings) in our school policy/structure/atmosphere. As I write this, another death hangs in the balance… the life of the PTO (Parent Teacher Organization) for the school for which I work. A group of people are deciding whether this organization lives to continue contributing to our students or dies.

Now all this may sound very depressing and to some scary, but in actuality it is no different than cells dying and then being replaced in our bodies (well… maybe except for that chocolate cake… I mean, come on, that was serious). Some may think that statement sounds stiff and uncaring. But that is only because they pay no mind to the miraculous cycle of the death and birth of those very cells.

Without this cycle there would be no growth, no renewal, no chance to start over or improve. We couldn’t decide to train to run faster, rehabilitate our muscles to fix our injuries, or learn new things. We couldn’t evolve, invent new inventions in order to meet new needs, create new pathways to conquer old problems, or get a new crop of pomegranates every year (I love pomegranates).

One of my favorite movies, “Harold and Maude” (here is a link to the Wikipedia synopsis of the movie for those of you unfamiliar with this cult classic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_and_Maude), exemplifies this theme. A seemingly morbid Spring/Fall romance proves to be the release of Harold and inspires him to live life instead of courting death.

A hard thing to remember when the death of something seems to take a piece of us with it. Yet that lost piece (painful though its parting may have been) leaves something wonderful behind… space. Much needed space… for something new.

I remember a statement from the movie, Millennium (the movie itself was interesting, but it was the final statement that keeps the movie in my memory).

”This is not the end. This isn’t the beginning of the end. This is the end of the beginning.” (* see note)

Well, as I finish this conversation the PTO meeting is ending and indeed the organization did die… just to be replaced by a whole new set of officers, eager for their new beginning.

Endings… couldn’t do without ‘em.

I love you all,

Donna

* Little did I know at the time that this statement (or rather the altered version of it) was actually made by Winston Churchill on 10 November 1942. Funny how important political and social statements sink into our culture.

Conversation 8:

Opportunity. They say it’s everywhere. Then why sometimes do we feel we don’t get enough opportunity? We look around and we see others (we presume with lots of opportunity) succeeding and still more (seemingly with little opportunity) not succeeding. Who do we empathize with? Do we celebrate with those that succeed or do we stand with the unsuccessful and scorn those who succeed, belittling their efforts? Where do we feel most comfortable? What slit are you looking through?

Pardon me… my thoughts are flying faster than my conversational fingers. Remember Pavlov’s Cat? No wait, that was Pavlov’s Dog… oh yea, Schrödinger’s Cat. You know the one where the cat is alive and dead simultaneously until your perception either kills the cat or doesn’t kill the cat (gross over simplification of a very important physics experiment). Where the energy in the box is both a particle and a wave until your perception of the energy makes it into a particle or a wave. Perception does not equal passive observation. Perception equals conscious choice, how you Think about the particle at a particular moment is what happens to the particle.

It’s our choice how we perceive, do we look through the “good” (cat alive – if you’re a cat lover) slit or the “bad” (cat dead) slit. And I mean good and bad as beneficial or non-beneficial. If we can choose to look through the bad we can look just as often or even more often through the good. Notice I am saying “through”, as in what vibrational level do you want to work “through”.

I know, I know, easier said than done. Why does it seem easier to look through the bad… why is that? Well, it is habit… it’s a comfortable place to be, you Know it. Anything known is always perceived as easier than the unknown. Perceived as easier. Think about it… how many times have you encouraged someone you know (like a friend or your child) that if they just try “it” they will find it not to be so hard and once “it” is accomplished life will be easier for them afterwards (asking someone on a date, approaching a client, learning to walk or write, riding a bike without training wheels). Have you ever done something and then said to yourself, “Well, that wasn’t so hard.” That is the perceived I am talking about.

And also, it’s scary and unpleasant to realize that where our perception lies so does creation of our reality. That means that since you created your circumstances by your thoughts and perceptions, it holds no meaning to blame your circumstances for your problems… that leaves no one to blame but… sigh, that’s right… ourselves. The thing is though, once you get over the fact that you have created the reality you are in, no matter how much you dislike it, you then realize that…

You Created The Reality You Are In! Holy Hey Hoo!

If you created it one way, you can create it a different way. Suddenly you realize you can change your reality. And that gives you all the power in and of the Cosmos.

The tools conversed about in this blog to make our Self feel better and perceive (I was very tempted to italicize that word again, but I noticed that I have already done that and used “quotes” a number of times… people who pepper their conversation with air “quotes” annoy me – 10 on the Emotional Guidance Scale)… where was I, oh yea… the tools we use to make our Self feel better and perceive the world in a more positive way are of little use unless we realize that we are the drivers.

You are the one pointing the car (your energy and the Source’s energy) in the direction you want to go. You don’t let go of the wheel and allow the car to carry you wherever it may. You turn the key, grab the wheel and drive to a destination of your choice.

You can drive your car over a bump… and complain about the bump, then while you are complaining, scrabbling for your water bottle on the floor of the car and not watching the road you drive into a ditch, and complain about the ditch and how everything seems to go wrong, and after the tow truck gets you out of the ditch and you are cursing the tow truck driver and why does he have to charge so much anyway, miss the sign on the road about the bridge being out and drive over the edge into a ravine wondering all the while why everything bad always happens to you and how you never get where you want to go.

Or

You can drive that same car over that same bump and think, even though you hit your head on the roof of your car, how great it was that you hadn’t gotten the car aligned yet, and since you’re not complaining, you don’t drive into the ditch, and while passing the poor sot who did drive into the ditch, you send good thoughts the sot’s way making sure you drive more carefully than the sot, and since your eyes were still on the road you notice the sign warning about the bridge being out and take the detour which leads you to a little town where you stop for lunch and meet some people you would never have met, end up having a wonderful time and changing your future for the better.

In other words, we don’t just drive the road waiting for opportunity to come (because it always comes), we drive the road with intent, seeing opportunity in the right light (frame of mind) and taking the opportunity at the right time.

I find the following quotes to be wonderful reminders concerning opportunity…

Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. And another quote by the same individual…But, In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity. (Albert Einstein)

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. (Helen Keller)

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. (Carl Bard)

Life is full of obstacle illusions. (Grant Frazier)

So the question is… do you want to be right that you are where you are because of outside circumstances that supposedly steal your opportunity all the while hating where you are and going nowhere or do you want to be wrong, be responsible for your circumstances seeing opportunity more easily and end up with the power of the universe at your beck and call, creating the reality you want.

Right, powerless, and unhappy… or… wrong, powerful and happy?

For me, there is only one choice. Admitting and accepting that I am wrong is the only way to gain the world I want. Admitting I am responsible gives me the power to create the opportunities I want and to be aware of them as they come.

I love you all,

Donna

Because this conversation is the result of a bad day… a bad week really… or rather a really bad week (granted it was last week so the entire thing is over, but it was still horrible).

Conversation 7:

Well Golly Gee Willikers! What kind of a hay hoo week was that! It had to be the worst 4 day work week ever (well… if I really think about it perhaps I could come up with 1 or 2 other weeks that were worse… I’m such a literal communicator).

Any way… Yikes! I have been angry, depressed, fearful, worried, insecure, discouraged, and finally ambivalent (let me see, that’s a 17, 22, 22, 14, 21, 16, and ambivalent doesn’t have a number on the Emotional Guidance Scale). What a low vibrational level rollercoaster ride (you know, I love rollercoaster rides, but I am usually screaming in happy excitement, not fuming in discouraged anger). The furrows were getting deeper and deeper between my brows. They were getting so deep they were pulling my ears forward (you know, if I had thought about that then, I would have smiled – that would have been helpful)!

So, what did I do? Did I pull one of the vibrational raising exercises I have been so eloquently writing about out of my hat? Alas… No! A number of times I reminded myself to remember something exciting, to take a deep breath and focus on what I truly wanted, to walk my way up the emotional scale (well I was doing that, but then I was falling right back down again)!

It didn’t work (mostly because I quit trying), I felt like screaming, I felt like punching something, I wanted to jump up and down wailing in a two year old type tantrum (really… someone with a chest like mine shouldn’t do that).

I did my best not to bring it home. The last thing my daughter needed from her mother was spoiled brat behavior and my husband certainly didn’t need to be treated to a blow by blow of my negatively focused days after coming home from his second job. I am not sure how successful I was, I do give myself coudos for not beating up any furniture pieces or punching any family members (or co-workers) during the week. I give my mother credit for that bonus in my behavior. She tended to be the, “take it our on whoever was around” kind of person. That memory has been a deterrent on my behavior.

So, to what am I conversing this time? It is this (just a teaser… after re-reading this I found I didn’t really get to the point until later… I wasn’t finished complaining). When we finally got home after working late yet again, after another absolutely horrendous day, after going to our favorite pizza place to order take out only to find that it was out of business (a “failure to pay rent” notice taped to the door), I did a very unproductive thing. Instead of making myself a drink and doing a dance, doing a dance, doing a Hallelujah the horrible week is over dance, I did not raise my vibrational rate (I really should have had that drink). Instead I morosely decided to order from Pizza Hut. I did not want to speak to anyone, so I attempted (in a single minded, I am not giving up manner) to order on-line. I say single minded, not giving up manner because it took me 45 minutes to order on-line. After numerous attempts at all phases of the ordering process (really… there were clues everywhere to stop and regroup), I thought I had successfully submitted the order. I waited at my computer for the confirmation. Every minute I clicked the refresh button on my e-mail… no confirmation. Suddenly I realized I was clicking the refresh every 2 or 3 seconds in a rather frantic manner. Still no confirmation. Aaaaack!

I gave up and called the local Pizza Hut number. I explained my situation. I was patiently informed that my order could not be found (hence the lack of confirmation) and asked if I wanted to order by phone (I fumed… if I had wanted to order by phone I would have done that first. Besides, I wanted the 20% off your first internet order discount). I ground my teeth and said, “Yes”. He took my order. After the order taker screwed up my order several times he asked me if I had any coupons. I vaguely answered, “Coupons (hoping he would fill in the blank)? He doesn’t. I sigh and say, “I don’t have any coupons”. I remind him that I was trying to order on-line and use the “20% off First On-Line Order” discount. He pauses several seconds and then says (in a disinterested voice) I am not allowed to use the online coupons when ordering by phone. Well for some reason, that was it. I said (well more like said very sternly), “You know, just forget the order. I am going to order from Dominos”.

Before I can say thank you (yes, I was going to say thank you… really) and hang up the phone guy says, “Does Dominos have a 20% off on-line coupon?” I wasn’t sure I had heard correctly (did he really say that?), so I said, “Pardon me?” He repeated, “Does Dominos have a 20% off on-line coupon… I don’t think so.” I was quiet a second and then I said, “You know, it doesn’t matter to me. I have spent almost an hour trying to place an order on-line and then with you and I am giving up.” There was silence on the other end of the phone. Then the phone guy said, “I am authorized to give you a 10% discount, would that be all right?” A 10% discount… I actually didn’t know what to do for a second.

I was thinking that at this point I didn’t care about any discount, then my memory of the cell phone customer service scripts I used to create came to mind and I felt slightly (just ever so slightly) compassionate towards his situation (you know, dealing with an irrational customer). I said that would be fine. He completed the order and said it would be delivered in 35 minutes (wow 35 minutes… on a Friday night… cool). I did not feel vindicated. I felt deflated.

Now really, if I had just listened to myself sounding like so many of the hysterically awful customer service calls from the cell phone customer service section where I used to work, I would have laughed.

During this entire process, I managed not to snap at my daughter or her friend who was over playing. Unfortunately, I did complain to my poor husband when he called, who listened with confused patience to my complaints of the impossible on-line ordering experience I had had.

Okay, now is when I actually get to the point (after 2 pages of stream of consciousness complaining) I can not help but think that if I had done the dance, had the drink and done the dance, or at least taken 10 minutes to change my frame of mind using any one of the techniques I have mentioned so far in these conversations before attempting the on-line order, the experience would have gone much better. So if I had just spent a few minutes doing Anything higher vibrational, I most likely would have circumvented extending my nasty week by an additional 55 minutes.

Thank Goodness when our order arrived it was on time, hot, complete, and tasty. And finally… the Do a dance, do a dance, do a thank the hey hoo the week is getting better dance bubbled forth!

It wasn’t worth it you know, the worry, the anger, the discouragement, and the fear (not the pizza order, the awful preceding week). Not worth it at all. It changed nothing. The negative emotions only made the week worse.

As I write this I have consumed my wonderfully made to order pizza and chicken wings and am working on my second rum and coke (Sailor Jerry Spiced Navy Rum… yum!). Hey, I said I was working on raising my vibrational rate, not becoming a saint (although from what I read about those saints… my behavior is pretty tame as compared to some of them).

So, the final point… when you are having an absolutely horrible, nasty, week to end all weeks (or even a day.. why wait as long as I did), look over to the wall where you have taped this conversation, and skip to the end…

Do a dance, have a drink, jump naked into the pool (holding those parts that tend to waggle a little too much), call that acquaintance that ALWAYS complains and listen to how bad their day was… whatever it is…

Just do that thing that helps, the thing that makes you laugh uproariously, feel incredibly better, or even just decompress. Take the time to feel better. Don’t waste as much time as I did, because it is not worth it. Negatively created futures are never worth it.

I love you all,

Donna

Note to Self: I think taping this conversation on my own wall would be beneficial.

Abrupt change of subject…

We are most of the way through the summer and my thoughts have been turning to Fall already. It seems, these days, I am usually thinking ahead of where I am. It’s the many things in life crowding in, pulling my focus away from today to anticipated problems of the future. I feel as if I want to get a jump on planning, time wise, money wise, in order to keep ahead. Ahead of what, I wonder? Time spent too much in the future leaves us with no time in the Now. And Now is when we create the future we want.   

So this time we will be talking about Now and how to stay there. Lights, camera, action…

Conversation 6:

A new product is being introduced by our company called Perfect Water. I first saw it at a product convention for our company in Orlando. We were walking along spotlit areas wending our way between product displays. We approached the food section… and there it was… the Perfect Water exhibit. Now I am not one to be swayed by marketing tricks – I mean, I used to create them for a cellular phone company. But something that exudes high vibrations is very appealing to me And this did (still does, too). It looked smart, cool, sleek… perfect. I wanted one! I wanted to try it to see if it was as good as it looked. I instantly thought of everyone who could benefit from this product. It was a very exciting few minutes.

And I am still very excited about this product. Its high vibrations make me feel good. Just seeing the product gives me all sorts of ideas. It is inspiring. The excitement created by the Perfect Water product makes me feel better mentally and physically. It makes me feel focused and on purpose.

I am not in some underhanded means trying to sell you our new product (although I would happily sell you that and any other of the 7 million products we have). I am using it as an example to demonstrate what excitement can do for us, what a perspective changing life transforming emotion it can be.

Excitement is number three on the Emotional Guidance Scale (third only to Passion, #2 and Joy, #1). It’s pretty high up there.

I think all of us if we try can remember a time when we felt such excitement. Your heart was racing, your breathing changed, and your focus was very high. You couldn’t wait until you did/ate/met/rode/played it. You were completely immersed in the Now.     

The Now is where we want to be. It is where we want to keep our focus. For the only place our desired future can be created is from Now. It can’t be created from the Past. The Past’s future was already created and lived. We can’t project into the future and create it there, we don’t know what our circumstances will be or what we will want in the future; The only place from which we can send our desires and intents ahead for future creation is Now.

So how do we do that, stay in Now? I mean, it’s not as if you can just forget about things like bills that will come due, scheduling changes coming up, and events to plan for. Can you? Not forget about them completely, no (sigh – too bad). But we can prevent ourselves from dwelling on them in worry, or fear. Worry is number 14 out of 22 on the Emotional Guidance Scale. And fear, fear is all the way at the bottom of the list. Talk about yanking away any forward high vibrational creating you might have been doing.

Just think about it. You’re going along, happily creating at, oh say the vibrational rate of Positive Expectation (#4) and WHAM, you remember that the mortgage is due and you don’t have the money collected yet. You are afraid (FEARful) that you won’t get the money in time. It takes only 17 econds for the Source to notice a change in your vibrational level and the intent you are presently focusing on. It takes 68 seconds for the Source to start changing circumstances to bring about whatever you are thinking and creating. Whatever positive circumstances were coming your way concerning the positive fulfillment of your mortgage payment have stopped and your intent has plummeted to the lowest vibration. You are madly creating with a very negative emotion. The Source is responding to your strong intent and bringing about circumstances to fulfill that intent… not being able to pay the mortgage. Yikes! Quick, do something!

You have three things you can do…

1. Change your vibrational rate to a higher one.
2. Quit thinking about “Not being able to pay the mortgage” and think about “Easily meeting your mortgage, or all of your obligations in a timely manner”.
3. Do what can be done (with this positive attitude) and then put it aside.

Let’s start with number 1. It is impossible to have more than one emotion at a time (even schizophrenics have to switch back and forth). So, change the emotion you are having, by deliberately changing what you are thinking about. Use excitement!

Take the time to make notes on the exciting times in your life. Those times that were wonderfully exhilarating (that would be pleasantly exhilarating as opposed to something like oh, say… your tire blowing and feeling the exciting effects of doing 360ss down I95 in traffic – exciting, but not really, “oh yea, let’s do that again!”, exciting). If you have pictures keep them with the notes, carry them with you all the time. And when you are in need of a shift in your focus, pull these notes and pictures out Look at them and pull the memory of that excitement from the past into the Now. Close your eyes and really feel that feeling. Relive whatever incident produced that feeling. Hold it close to you and think how great it would be to feel like that right now.

Now that you have that feeling of excitement coursing through you, change your intent (2.) from “not being able to pay the mortgage” to “easily meeting your mortgage obligations in a timely manner”. Think how great you feel when you pay the mortgage on time. Be excited about having the ability to do that. How wonderful to pay your biggest bill and have it hardly impact your pocketbook at all. Then, with deliberate intent, do whatever you can about the situation, put the situation on the shelf, and then go about your day with that same excitement (3.).

A tall order, I know. But, anything can be accomplished when pursued in small bits, a little at a time. And what a great tool to use, remembering exciting past events to bring forth a feeling that raises your vibrational level! This can be used any time you want to change your thoughts to be more positive, and to make certain you are creating deliberately in a positive manner. Not only does it make you feel better, the strength of the emotion wipes out the low vibrations and gets your creating ability back on the positive track.

So, drag out those old memories and get excited, Now. Really excited! It might just make your future.

I love you all,

Donna                     

Well here it is. The birth of a blog. It has been an interesting learning experience. I definitely felt the stretching of boundaries and formation of gray matter convolutions during the learning process. Not that it’s finished. I see it as a work in progress. Let me know what you think of the venue. There is a section for comments at the bottom of the blog page.

So, onward to our next conversation.

Conversation 5:

I was told when I was growing up, “You have to work hard or you won’t get anywhere… money doesn’t grow on trees… nobody’s going to give you a handout… you can’t trust others… if you want it done right, do it yourself…people are out for themselves and they never change”. And yet after I had embraced these ideas, worked hard and gained some of the things I wanted, my mother would give them away and say things like, you have more than they do so you should give it to them… you didn’t really need that so I gave it away… you can always get another they don’t have the same opportunities you have. Hmmm, it seemed my mother ran on double standards.

I also found, in my young life, that almost all adults lied (except for my grandfather) and conveniently didn’t remember the contradictory things they said. It made no sense to me. I was young, not obtuse.

Well, it was all very confusing and pretty awful. It seemed to me that people on the whole were simply not nice. The opinion I ended up with was, life sucked and you had to have a thick skin and the upper hand to stay ahead, be sure you didn’t trust anyone (except those very few who had been through the crucible with you), and what you worked hard to get make sure no one took away.

Yeah, not the best perspective to start life with. But thank goodness it didn’t stay that way. I, like many others, decided to break the chain of perpetuating negativity. I changed. Once I learned that we are creators for the Source, it freed me from those old beliefs. That and remembering my past lives. It does one a world of good to see oneself as the nasty oppressor taking advantage of the weak, or an unfeeling landlord, or a sniveling liar… yikes! Was that really me? I was suddenly much more tolerant of others negative behavior understanding what had driven me in past lives to be the same way.

So, yes, I now see that people can and do change, and… the more you give away the more you make room to receive, and… be trusting, it opens up opportunities, and… life is incredibly wonderful, and… as long as you are mindful of your creative energy life is anything you create it to be.

What a difference in the two lives… how I started out and now (and I am quite sure, and certainly hope, different now than I will be in the future). So what got me from there to here? As in everyone’s life, there were countless incidents and teaches that drove me to the person I am now. Many of them, I am sure, I don’t remember. But here are a few of the ones I do remember…

My mother – A very big influence in my life since it was just the two of us most of the time. On one had, she is a driven and determined individual. On the other, she has an extreme victim mentality and feels that everywhere she turns are insurmountable obstacles that prevent her from attaining anything in life. She is driven by revenge. She gave me examples of what was necessary to succeed which made me strong and also examples of what I didn’t want to be like which made me strive to be different.

My grandfather – I only knew him between the ages of 6 and 10. When he died I felt I had lost my only friend and refuge. He was a teacher and he instilled in me a love of science and research. He taught me that things are not always as they seem and that it was necessary to question currently accepted theories. We worked in gardens, on carpentry and among bee hives together. I found out later that my mother was an abused child, I never knew which grandparent it was that abused her, but if it was her father, he was definitely a different person with me.

A scientific and spiritual organization, The Rosicrucians – My mother was a great self educator and joined this organization when I was 9 or 10. I was allowed to study along with her. It opened my eyes to the spiritual laws of the universe and gave me the first inklings of the creative power we have in conjunction with the Source (called the Cosmos by the Rosicrucians). What I learned with this organization is what has guided my spiritual transformation.

Rick – My husband and soul mate for life (and a lot of other lives, too). Rick is a person who likes to help others, he genuinely likes other people and enjoys interacting with them. This was new to me. I mean, I had a couple of close friends, but I was not a person who liked or sought out others to spend time with. In general, I preferred my own company. Rick also had a wonderful sense of play… something I had forgotten existed. Living and growing with Rick has taught me to love and trust others. And to have fun… thank goodness.

Because I didn’t like my current situation, I took chances – As a teen, I tended to jump at opportunities to achieve what I wanted (I didn’t like what I had so why not try something else…some chances taken turned out great, some didn’t… I didn’t do the unfun ones again). Funny how as the older I got and the more I accumulated the fewer chances I took. I am endeavoring to regain that fearless leaping attitude… perhaps tempered with checking things out a little first.

So along my transforming path with the influence of these incidents and teachers, I learned to have fun, smell the flowers (literally… I started sniffing flowers wherever I went), ferret out fears and whittle away at negative thought patters with the help of, “You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought”, and other various well know philosophers, and books of faith. Presently I am most influenced by the works of Wayne Dyer.

Many people I meet complain that the world is getting worse and worse. But I don’t see that. I see something different. I see the limitations they put on themselves and the lives they create. I see how the life I create for myself is directly tied to my own attitude, the care I take of myself, and the connection I have with the Source.

For me the world is filled with opportunity and optimistic events. I think it is wonderful to see a more positive turn in things like TV in a rash of new shows like; The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, Dancing with the Stars, Phineus and Ferb, and in the revival of musicals. I appreciate and expect small positive acts like when I am in traffic people let me in, I see people stop to make sure someone on the side of the road is okay, people help out others in the grocery line who are short of change, parking spaces open up where I would like them to be, and when I smile people smile back. I find it very interesting that science is realizing it is not a separate entity from the Source (physical laws really reflect spiritual laws), that information on anything is available at our fingertips, and that opportunity is being created with lighting speed. It seems to me, if you look for the good you will receive it.

There have never been “good old days” for me. Even now when we are having trouble with our mortgage and the bills, the house we are working to keep is much nicer and in better shape than the one we had before, our health is better than it was, and we now have friends who help us (instead of the other way around – which I didn’t mind – I liked having the ability to help). In general, it has Always gotten better! And I intend to keep it that way.

So where do I go from here? Onward and upward of course.

What I suspect I will find is that even the upward spiral is an illusion, and that there really is no distance or time between now and my desires. Like having a genie in a bottle, ask and you shall receive… instantly.

I love you all,

Donna

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